While a lot of things have changed in the nearly 7 years that I’ve been with my therapist…one thing has remained the same. The couch. We’ve moved offices, moved buildings, changed practices…decor changes and new artwork…but it’s always been the same couch. Until today. Last week, she told me (and thank you for the heads […]
Change can be uncomfortable, but that doesn’t always mean bad Read More »
So, I did something kind of cool (for me, anyway)…I reached out and asked for help. Look, I don’t know if this is one of those “big deal” things, and we all know that I hate labels here. But I’m also honest. And even when it’s hard, I have to be honest with myself. Part
Small steps toward growth…hopefully Read More »
It’s Sunday night, and for what seems like no reason at all, I’m sitting here suffering through relentless anxiety. There’s really no good reason for it. It was a good weekend, my husband was actually in a good mood (as opposed to feeling stressed and overwhelmed at times) and didn’t make me feel anything less
The beast doesn’t sleep forever Read More »
Here we are, batch number 3 of my 2022 chick season. THE DUCKS ARE HERE!!!!!! Am I unreasonably excited? Yes, yes I am. I’ve had baby chicks twice this year, and numerous times over the past 4 years. But this is only the second time, last year being the first, with ducklings. And oh my
When babies make you feel whole Read More »
Today, I did something that I haven’t done in years. Literally, years. I went out to the store, by myself (no other adults) with my 5 and 3 year old sons. Shocking? Yes. Which part is more shocking, you ask me? The fact that I went out alone with them? Or the fact that I
Even small accomplishments count Read More »
Do I wish I had more support when it came to my clearly non vanishing alcohol addiction? Yes, I do. Do I wish I could go to AA, or find any other kind of support? Yes, of course I do. But I can’t. I’m too afraid to. Too anxious, too nervous…too weak. Yes, I need
We all need more support sometimes Read More »
Broken is all I feel, all I know how to feel. There’s so much to feel, but no space to feel it. So I guess I’d better not feel anything at all. When words don’t match your actions, don’t match your feelings…what are you left with? Say I’m fine, or worse…admit that I’m sad, continue
Trust is such a…powerful word, which holds quite a bit of meaning and weight. Questions like who I can trust, what can I trust them with…and what does it even mean to trust? Do I even have it in me? Do I posses the capability to allow myself to trust another person? Give them the
What does it take to trust? Read More »
Well, turns out, I had a bit of a rough weekend. And that’s left me feeling like sort of a failure. It wasn’t a bad weekend, per se, but it was exhausting. I was “on” all weekend, and never got a chance to rest and relax. So that’s pretty much left me exhausted and falling
We all fall down sometimes Read More »
If it’s not one thing it’s another. Alcohol turns to pills turns to….whatever else it turns to. The addict brain doesn’t discriminate in the ways that one may alter it. Escape this…sobering feeling. Escape, escape, escape. Can’t be stuck with myself, not with my thoughts or my feelings or my emotions. Anything to escape. Chasing