A Little Broken, But A Smidge of Hope

Today is not the worst, and I consider that a success.

Today, simply put, is not the worst. Pregnancy mixed with my less than stellar heart caused me to feel really sick and pass out this morning, but other than that…it is not the worst day. I had some intense anxiety when I woke up this morning, but I managed it. I’m trying so hard not …

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Turns out, I’m not responsible for your feelings.

Another shocking revelation, courtesy of therapy, is that I’m not responsible for your feelings. And, no, you aren’t responsible for mine either. This is a concept that honestly, I don’t fucking understand. Hear me out. If you kill my dog, I will be very sad and very hurt. You did this. You killed my dog. …

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Irony

I didn’t get better fast enough, and now I’m feeling alarmingly worse. I wasn’t vulnerable enough, couldn’t feel secure fast enough. And now I don’t know if it will ever be possible to feel those things. Some things got better, but it wasn’t better enough. I was struggling, barely holding on. And it feels like …

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When your fears remind you of your childrens strength

Right now, I am sitting in the heart hospital for an echo and a few other tests. As I was walking in, I felt nervous and uneasy. And kind of afraid. My 2 children and I have a severe genetic disorder, and one of the things it causes is cardiomyopathy. We are all at very …

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