The Series Of Very Unfortunate Events

Does significant trauma bring permanent changes?

This is…a hard one for me to talk about. I thought about writing it, but I know I’d be less…calculated, and more raw…and while normally that’s a good thing, that’s not what I want when it comes to this topic. I’m not even sure I’ll be able to hit the publish button once this is …

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If only drinking could fix it…but it can’t.

Lately, I have been feeling particularly trapped and defeated in this seemingly impossible life of mine. Everything that I’m currently going through and having to deal with feels incredibly…..fragile, handle with care, if you will. I don’t want to talk about it, because frankly, I suck at verbally expressing myself on any given day, and …

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Dear rapist, haven’t you taken enough from me?

I had honestly hoped, as shitty as the situation was, that things could eventually become.. better. I thought things could…possibly one day resemble some sort of normalcy. Although I knew I might never forgive you, I tried to convince myself that maybe I could try. Because regardless of the shit that you did to me …

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Just because it’s difficult, doesn’t mean it’s bad.

The theme of this week, this year even, it seems…is difficult conversations. Things that have never needed to be said, yet need saying anyway. This has been a week of confrontation, but not in a bad way. Difficult conversations, gentle confrontation, a resist to the natural reaction of me running away… It’s all hard. It …

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Do the broken parts always stay broken?

Does it exist? Is there hope, or potential, or even the slightest, most remote possibility that this part of me can ever be healed? Shit, healed is a stretch. I’d be elated with functional. This part of life shouldn’t hurt. The part where someone who is safe and loving…loves you. You shouldn’t be afraid. You …

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When physical touch makes you cringe

Every…however often it is…things seems to feel worse. The shift is subtle, and usually, no one would be able to tell. But there’s one area where the shift becomes incredibly blatant and apparent. I don’t smile, I don’t want to be touched, I’m not going to pretend to be happy for your benefit…I’m exhausted all …

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Dear alcohol and the one who thinks he owns me,

Tonight you won. Really, your battle began this morning. I’m wiped, I’m exhausted, and I’m hurt. So this will be short. I struggle to defeat you. It feels laughable to even consider it a possibility. Defeat may not, may never be a choice…..but perhaps an occasional victory could be? Tomorrow I’ll face the physical demons …

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How do you tell a story when you don’t even understand it?

There is so much going on in my life right now, and it can all be summed up by 1 word – complicated. Every single aspect of my life has been defined by me and everyone else as “complicated”. My kids health? COMPLICATED. My past and trying to come to grips with that all while …

How do you tell a story when you don’t even understand it? Read More »