Empty introspection

Tonight has been strange, for no other reason than being relatively unable to identify how I feel. I am unfortunately good at being introspective. Sometimes I think it’s simultaneously one of my biggest gifts and curses. I think anyone with a high level of introspection can agree with that sentiment. But, tonight is just weird. …

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The dreaded mornings

Every day seems to start the same lately. Wake up at 5, after maybe having gotten 4 hours of sleep. Have coffee and spend time with my husband for an hour before he leaves for work. Have more coffee at 6, trying to absorb every quiet, peaceful moment to myself. The closer it comes to …

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Without anger, anxiety quickly turns to sadness.

Another night, alone in the dark with nothing but my thoughts and a full glass. It was a night of heavy emotions from the start. Anxiety sparked the evening. Love attempted healed it. But then it ignited once again, full force this time. Threatened with the possibility of an evening alone while he sleeps…of spending …

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When emotion doesn’t want to be accessed

Today I’m exhausted, more exhausted than usual. I had therapy early this morning. It was only for 1 hour, and it honestly wasn’t very difficult today. But I left there feeling even more exhausted. Even though if doesn’t feel hard, I think the mental load of what we’ve been doing is actually taking a larger …

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