Can I keep writing late at night about my truest and most honest and vulnerable feelings? Is that okay with you? It feels a little wrong, it feels a little dirty, but yet…it feels almost necessary. It’s beginning to feel like survival. Tonight is a night. The absolute worst kind of night. I feel so …
“I’ll be fine, I always am.” That’s the single most me quote that there is. I’ll be fine, I always am. …… I say it when I’ve perhaps gotten a little too real, a little too vulnerable, and I want to walk it back. I say it when I need sarcasm to lighten up a …
Do you ever just want to give up? Want to give in? Want to conform, want to adhere? Want to live up to societal standards of “the norm”? But just… can’t? Are you ever just so fucking sick of hiding yourself that you just………can’t anymore? Except for that face that you still have to? That’s …
As I’m sitting here in my peaceful, quiet hotel room, I realized that this is when I usually write! Instead of being stressed and overwhelmed and overtired, I’m instead sitting in bed, drinking coffee and watching tv. I’m sorry…what? Who’s life is this? The hotel I’m at is beautiful, the view is even better, and …
Tonight, like so many nights from the past, has me sitting on my bathroom floor, alone, drinking, while my husband is asleep in bed. It’s not that late. It’s only 10ish pm at the start of this writing. (Which speaks nothing of the potential end of this writing. Because as I get ready to post …
Familiar, yet unfamiliar. And that is so important. Read More »
Last night was…something. It was a night that looked like a lot of nights my husband and I have had in the past. Where alcohol played too much of a role, and I said a lot of things that I’ve been holding in for a while. It started when I got upset with my husband. …
We went to the park again last night for therapy, even though it was threatening thunderstorms all night. I was pretty confident that it wasn’t going to rain, because it literally hasn’t rained on a therapy night it YEARS. So now it’s a thing. The squirrel left us alone for the most part, and there …
Well, in typical Monday fashion (and every day lately) my morning, once again, started way too early at 4:30am. Ugh. When your kids, who, theoretically are old enough to know better, continuously wake you up way too early in the morning (between 3 and 5am) every single day….it can be really hard to get past …
Today got off to a bit of a loud start, as they always seem to lately. But I’m trying to…just accept that this is my life right now. My son doesn’t have school today, which means I have the pleasure (🙄) of having all 3 kids home with me all day. We have nowhere to …
Every now and then, you have a night that inspires progress. Last night was one of those nights. Also known as…a hard night. The kind of night where the alcohol hit hard, and my brain and body just kind of…turned off. The weird thing is, I didn’t drink that much more than usual. But I …