I have anxiety, but I don’t know where to put it. So it just sits there. Festering and growing. My body feels restless, my heart is about to pound out of my chest, and my mind is going a thousand miles a minute. I know what the problem is. Or, rather, problems. There’s no shortage …
When you go to therapy long enough, a funny thing happens. You start realizing things. You start understanding things about yourself a little bit more, you start recognizing that the things you do that you thought were harmless, just might not be. And you start to be able to recognize these patterns on your own…eventually…without …
When therapy is helpful, even outside of the therapy room. Read More »
When the anxiety is so palpable, you can hear nothing but your own heartbeat inside of your ears. Your chest feels like it’ll very likely explode with the next way too strong beat. You don’t want to drink more. You know that won’t help! But it does……..until it doesn’t. Until you take it too far. …
I can convince myself all day long that I have my alcohol usage under control. I can convince myself, I can convince you…it’s a skill I’ve pretty much mastered at this point. More days than not this past week, I’ve woken up and wondered to myself if maybe I should, once again, *attempt* sobriety. Aside …
It’s been a rough 24 hours. And the later it gets into the night, the more I’m allowing myself to feel it. I was actually in the middle of writing my tomorrow post. A little behind the scenes for you, I like to have my posts for the day done by 8:30am at the latest. …
Will you feed my depression with chocolate and coffee and hugs? Read More »
In typical Monday fashion, today is just FULL of appointments. After I drop my oldest off at school, the baby will (finally) start his new therapy for swallowing! It’s basically like e-stim on his neck and it should help him have an overall stronger swallow. We’re running hard and fast towards him getting a gtube, …
Well, for the night I had last night, I woke up in a surprisingly good mood. Like, it’s actually kind of shocking, and I’m super confused by it, but….a win is a win? Yesterday was a little bit hard, but it ended with therapy, which went really well. It was mostly just me talking for …
A Sunday night after an impossibly long week. Thankfully, I found a few hours here and there over the course of my chaotic weekend to have some moments of quiet for myself. Thankfully, I have a husband who recognizes my NEED for alone time…without the background noise of 3 boys yelling and screaming…either playfully or …
Today was a bad day. Straight up, point blank. A bad day. It did not go the way I hoped it would, in fact, this entire week has not gone the way I thought it would. My husband and I got into an argument again, mostly because of communication (and his extreme lack there of), …
When you don’t handle conflict the same way, anxiety, and some self hatred. Read More »
How many times do you go to write a post, give it a title, start writing it, think of a better, more accurate title, delete what you’ve written, and start over? Usually it happens when I start writing with a filter. And it feels so fucking fake, I can’t stand it. And want to be …