If there’s one true thing I can say this morning, it’s that I’m having a hard time right now. I feel like my world is made up of shards of glass. And every step I take, no matter which direction I go, I’m at risk of getting hurt. Yesterday I had an hours long panic […]
Aiming for a mediocre day Read More »
The anxiety is hitting hard tonight. And I don’t know where to put it. Last night was hard. It didn’t end how I wanted it to. The anxiety over my husband going back to work was too much. The stress of accepting (or not accepting) my new “normal” was too much. I drank way too
Nowhere to go to escape the pain and hide from life Read More »
8 years ago, I said yes to my best friend. And he said yes to me. One week ago today, the thought of seeing our 8th anniversary together was threatened, when a deer ran through his drivers side window and severely injured him. This year has been hell for us. We’ve had a lot thrown
Thriving and surviving. 8 years later. Read More »
These past few days, I’ve been struggling a lot with understanding and accepting what “normal” is now. I don’t think we’ve quite reached the place where the period of trauma and healing ends, and the new “normal” begins…but we’re getting closer. And I’m struggling to see what that might look like. My husband’s car is
What is the new normal? Read More »
I’ve been in a pretty big funk since my husband got into his accident on Tuesday. He went through a trauma…but so did I. There are things I can’t unsee, can’t unhear, and can’t unfeel. I can’t talk about any of it with him, and everyone else has been pretty unavailable when it comes to
Unprocessed trauma, and all of these foreign feelings. Read More »
Yesterday morning was a completely normal morning. Until it wasn’t. Until it would become one of those moments that none of us would ever forget, that would have a forever long impact. I left my house at 7:15am. Dropped my 7 year old off at school at 7:31am. Got gas, I was on E. Continued
Everything can change. Read More »
This feeling? The loneliness and the sadness and the apathy and the irritability and hopelessness and fear…it’s depression. The wanting to sleep all the time…wanting to suddenly self medicate more than usual, the crying yourself to sleep at night because you feel alone and so trapped with your thoughts and feelings…it’s the depression. It’s always
Earlier this morning, I had therapy. Yes, it’s Saturday. Yes, that’s quite unusual, and yes, I’m very glad that it happened. We got home from our crazy trip to the NIH late last night after a chaotic and intense 12 hour travel day. Nothing about it was easy or smooth, but we made it, got
Quieting the noise Read More »
Yesterday was a day full of positive staff interaction. The day started off with labs, bloodwork for all 5 of us, followed immediately with EKGs for me and the 2 bigger kids. Phoenix and I went into the room at the same time, and the tech did us back to back. Phoenix went first. And
Serving a bigger purpose, and finding the good. Read More »
Procrastination has a way of sneaking up on you. You might think you’re good, have plenty of time, ahead of the game…and then you very quickly realize just how wrong you were. I’m flying with all 3 of my kids in 37 hours. So, a day and a half. I only just began packing. Why?
Slowly but surely, we get there. Read More »