mental health

When you question how the Earth is still spinning

Sometimes, something happens in your life that is so big, so painful, so thought consuming…whatever it is, it’s huge. To you, it feels like everything.  It could be an anniversary, a traumatic event, a breakup, a loss, whatever it is, to you, it’s everything.  It feels like the biggest thing in the world. When it …

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Hello, nightmares

It’s been a while since you’ve waken me this abruptly, with images so vivid I question their reality. It’s been a few days since I’ve sat awake at 2am lonely and afraid to close my eyes again. Usually I dull you, nightmares. Usually I drink you into silence. I suppose I fell asleep too early …

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Searching for…..something

My therapist is always telling me to “stop chasing the feeling”. It pisses me off just a little, not gonna lie, and I really have no idea what she means. But it stuck. It sunk in. She’s right, that is what I do. And more often than not, it gets me into trouble. I’m always …

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He assaulted me again, and tonight I am not unclear.

I thought it would be okay. It thought it wouldn’t happen again. But it did, and it happened worse. He touched me, he kissed me, he assaulted me. He put his hands on me. Under my clothes…inside me. These are not unclear circumstances, and I am not okay. If I was unclear before, if I …

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When “self care” isn’t really self care

I often (okay, basically always) allow myself just the bare minimum of basic human needs necessary for survival. I don’t know about you, but for me in my life, I put myself last. Being a mom, and also having extremely low self worth as it is, it’s so incredibly easy to just forget about myself …

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