Losing the light

Tonight sucks. I’m feeling alone. (Deja fucking vu, right?) I don’t think this phase of life will ever end. I’m beginning to feel like my husband will never come home. (His dad is very sick and he’s been taking care of him for the past few weeks). These nights get…intense. Sleeping has gotten harder. The …

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All or nothing

She’s right, I am all or nothing. It feels good or it doesn’t. And if it doesn’t feel good now, it must never have felt good. Laying next to me like a stranger instead of holding me like a friend. It isn’t his fault. I’m sure it’s mine. It always is. Right? Tonight did not …

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No sheep to count

Another night, laying awake. While most people count sheep, she counts bad decisions. “Actions have consequences”. The words she reminds her son echoing in her head, as if she didn’t already know them to be true. It wasn’t a bad day. She didn’t do anything wrong or hurt anyone, she nearly never does. Yet still, …

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