You know those nights that you can just…..predict where they’re going to go? Somewhere around 5pm today, that happened. I knew exactly where this night was going to go, and I asked my husband to help prevent that. Earlier in the day, he got frustrated with me. Me, already being sensitive, thought “oh great, he’s …
How many times do you go to write a post, give it a title, start writing it, think of a better, more accurate title, delete what you’ve written, and start over? Usually it happens when I start writing with a filter. And it feels so fucking fake, I can’t stand it. And want to be …
I’ve been blogging here on WordPress for a good few years now. And in those 3ish(?) years, I’ve learned a lot of things. I’ve learned about myself, I’ve learned about other people and their stories, both similar to mine and completely different. But the thing that’s made the biggest impact is the actual, genuine, real …
I’ve learned a lot about myself over the past….well, I guess my entire life. And if there’s one thing that I know to be true, it’s that when I feel alone with my emotions, I become extremely self destructive. I’m having a tough time right now. I’m going through it, I’m feeling all the fucking …
Even now, in the “best I’ve felt in years”, coming off a high of 2 vacations back to back, I’m struggling. Even now, after a day that wasn’t all bad. A day that had its moments of hope and promise…I’m struggling. Struggling means a lot of different things for me. Sometimes, it means the most …
Tonight sucks. I’m feeling alone. (Deja fucking vu, right?) I don’t think this phase of life will ever end. I’m beginning to feel like my husband will never come home. (His dad is very sick and he’s been taking care of him for the past few weeks). These nights get…intense. Sleeping has gotten harder. The …
Tonight is hard. Today was hard. The last 2 weeks have been hard. Tonight might be the hardest. My husband and I got really bad news today. While multiple states and hours apart physically, we both got absolutely devastating news. I’m trying to lift him up. He’s trying to….idk. He feels badly. And wants desperately …
My strongest desire right now is to run. Run from my life. Run from my problems, run from my fears. Right now, things are just about as bad as they get. On the outside? I’m seemingly very strong. Very put together…very normal. But that’s not how I’m feeling. I’m feeling frantic. I’m feeling overwhelmed. And …
I will say, not having therapy last night really threw me off. I’m a big fan of routine and consistency and normalcy. But more importantly than that…I’m a big fan of self care. And healing. And taking the time for myself. The 2 hours I get to spend in therapy every Monday is just that. …
“I’ll be fine, I always am.” That’s the single most me quote that there is. I’ll be fine, I always am. …… I say it when I’ve perhaps gotten a little too real, a little too vulnerable, and I want to walk it back. I say it when I need sarcasm to lighten up a …