trauma

Another Monday

Today is a Monday, and it feels like a Monday. The lather – rinse – repeat of the week set to start all over again. I need a change, but I don’t know what that change is. Most days I wake up full of dread instead of hope. I know what my days hold for …

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Midnight again

Another night spent welcoming the morning. An empty glass begging to be refilled. No thought consumes my mind more than the anxiety of an empty glass. He begs to go to bed. Not in words, but in actions. This divide is causing issues I don’t know how to solve. “I’m used to it”, he says. …

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Anxiety and the power of a hug

When you’re taking your emergency anxiety medicine before 7am…you know it’s going to be a rough day. It’s not really strictly “emergency” medicine…I just don’t like how it makes me feel. I only take it when the anxiety is so bad I feel like I could literally explode. Lately, anxiety has been a constant presence …

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1:14am

It’s another miserable night. Sitting alone in the bathroom with a drink in hand, struggling to make the right choices. I feel like shit. Do I deserve it? Is he wrong? Does he care? Each drink tells me a different story. One more and I’m right. Another and I’m a piece of shit. Deserving only …

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