writing

Fighting

I do a lot of fighting. Fighting for my kids. For their medical needs to be met and exceeded. Fighting for my family, my husband…fighting for all the people in my life who can’t always fight for themselves in the moment. I’ve been a fighter my entire life. Every day of my existence is a …

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24 hours

Hour 1- 8:40pmI’ve already pushed it 1 hour and 49 minutes. The pain is intense. The headache, she shakiness, the pounding heart. I need to do this slowly. I need to taper. One drink tonight. I’m only 3 weeks, 1 day. I found out as early as possible to give myself the best chance before …

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2 pink lines

I’ve taken so many tests. I know it’s still early, but I needed to know. They’ve all been “negative”. Yesterday I convinced myself that there was a line. Literally barely there, but I hoped. This morning I didn’t see one. But I also gave up and didn’t look. When I back a little while later …

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An anniversary staycation, and the realities of a Sunday.

6 years ago today, I married my best friend. Last year we started the tradition of going “away” for our anniversary to celebrate. Really, all that consists of is staying in a hotel 20 minutes from our house, but hey. It’s a kidless weekend, and that’s the best kind of weekend that there is. Overall, …

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Burden of silence

Therapy was a mess last night. It was absolutely shit from literally the moment I walked in until I left. I hate myself. I’m frustrated and I feel like crap. I was wrong to think she cared. I was wrong to have hope. Usually I know better than to be this stupid. To allow myself …

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For people who suck at Valentine’s Day

It’s Valentine’s Day. A relatively useless day in general, but even more so when your wedding anniversary is less than 1 week later. Tonight my husband and I will do nothing more special than DoorDashing our favorite local Sushi place. I think it’s somewhat of a tradition we started years ago when we went there …

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