Site icon Something Worth Fighting For: Life Goes On

Have I mentioned that it’s November?

So, not that this bothers me at all, obviously, but it’s November now. “Adoption awareness month”, or whatever we want to label it.

I knew it in the back of my mind on the 1st. I knew it front and center by the second. Another reason to hate November.

As a whole, I don’t dislike the theory. Everything has a month, or a day, or whatever it is. Most things of importance are recognized one way or another. And I think that’s a great thing! Usually.

This month…this “celebration” is perhaps my one exception.

Because guess who is typically excluded from that “recognition and celebration”? Yeah. Us. The birth parents, who care more about you than you ever could have DREAMED possible.

Guys…I absolutely beg you. When you speak of adoption…can you please include the birth parents in your conversations?

I promise, we’re not the enemy. You have no idea how much pain we go through and how much we love our children.

We are not the stigma. We are not all drug addicts, or forced by the state to place our children. We’re not criminals….we aren’t bad people.

Every single one of us comes from a different story, a different background, a different experience.

Please stop grouping us together in this theory of yours that “well, they must have just not cared”, or “they must just be too fucked up”.

I have known a lot of birth parents over the past 7 years.

And I can assure you…

We care so much it fucking destroys us with agony to think about you.

When the world thinks about adoption, they think about the adoptive family and the adoptee. And they’re right! Those are incredibly important parts!!! And should be celebrated!

But…it’s a triangle. It’s a fucking triangle. And I swear to you.

The birth families care more than you could ever imagine.

Just ask my son…who has no idea why his brother won’t come visit him or see him. Ask his brother why they didn’t go trick or treating together this year.

I guess it does all start in November. Regardless of the rest of the shit, all of the other VERY valid shit that’s going on in my life…this part of it starts in November. Freaking National Adoption Awareness Month. Then the holidays. Then his birthday. There’s just no time to breathe.

So, no. It’s definitely not bothering me. I don’t care about it at all. I’m fine.

Even if all of the other shit wasn’t going on right now…

I’m just hurting so much. I am a parent to 2 amazing children.

Except how I’d REALLY phrase that is “I parent 2 amazing children. But I AM a parent of THREE amazing children.”

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