ptsd

Panic

Anxiety when it makes no sense. But really, if you look at it…it makes perfect sense. Anxiety when you feel useless. Anxiety when you don’t feel good enough. When you feel like no one cares. When all you feel is alone. Anxiety. Panic. Isolation.Fear. Whatever it feels like…whatever you call it…does it really matter? It’s …

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Contradictory world

It’s hard to live in a contradictory world. Parts of it will cheer you on, agree with your stance and viewpoint. While others will surely massacre you for it. How dare you think that way, how dare you act that way. You’ll never be able to win in a world that wants you to lose. …

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Dear nightmares…

Dear nightmares…… Tonight, you will not get me. I feel you, I see you creeping up from the shadows. You’ve been the forefront of my existence for too long now. Your content has been all to real…nothing short of a horror moving featuring my real life. Tonight, I won’t let the fear of you drink …

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Strength

Strength. What is is? Where does it come from? How can I find some? Tomorrow, I have therapy. And I’ll have to somehow find the strength to talk about the most impossible topic. I haven’t written about it yet, for some pretty obvious reasons…..but I will soon. This is one of the rare things that …

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Done

I won’t relive the past. The present is torturous enough. The past holds too much pain. I refuse to combine the two. Accidental pressure leads to too much blood. I’m sorry. Emotional pain leads to more and more and more pain. Logic left behind, the lies of pain the only thing that remains. I upset …

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1 a.m.

It’s 1 in the morning. To be honest, I wanted to go to sleep hours ago. That’s what the physical side conveyed. But the rest spoke something different. It’s 1a.m. and we’re just now beginning the difficult conversations. Life, death, babies, houses…. All of the fortunate and unfortunate possibilities of our very near futures. Big …

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