Every day I wake up with a twinge of pain, a reminder of the night before, I know I need to stop.
Every day I struggle, just a little, to remember what happened the night before, I know I need to stop.
When I’m pouring a drink and I feel like I’m being judged, or maybe I’m just judging myself…I know I need to stop.
When I feel like it’s getting out of hand and I want to stop…but I just can’t seem to? I know I need to stop.
I’m getting to a point where I’m no longer comfortable with this. It’s gotten bigger than I can handle, faster than I expected.
I feel like I don’t have any control over this anymore. It feels familiar. It feels like my past.
Pouring a drink when I don’t even really want one. Except I do want one. I need one.
I’m admitting that I need help with this now. I’m admitting that I’m starting to get in over my head, and I don’t want to keep going down this path.
I just don’t know if I can start to feel okay again. I hate feeling this level of bad about myself.
What a bad day not to have therapy.
But I can still try to do better tonight.