For the first time since before Christmas, this is a Monday that truly feels like a Monday.
Between holidays and the flu and winter storms, Mondays have been weird for a while now. But this morning finally feels…normal. And honestly, I’m happy to see it.
It’s a rainy day…my favorite kind of day, and I’m hoping it stays like it all day. Mondays are by far my busiest day, with appointments stacked pretty much all day long. They end with therapy, which is always my favorite reprieve from life. I’m hoping the rain lasts all day…but seeing as we seem to be cursed, it likely won’t. In the 8 years I’ve been going to see my therapist…I can remember it raining on exactly 1 occasion. It’s the ultimate goal.
My husband took our oldest son to school this morning so I could take Atlas to the doctor for his 15 month appointment. I have a love hate relationship with these age milestone appointments because they’re always a reminder of what we’re not doing yet.
This morning’s appointment will be tough. I’ll ask for special medical equipment (a gait trainer) to help him develop physically, referrals for some newer issues, we’ll talk about the upcoming trip to the NIH and surgeries and…the list goes on. These appointments are heavy on my heart. But it’s life. Our life.
In physical therapy last week, we put him in something called a gait trainer for the second time.
Basically, it’s like a little walker on wheels with a seat in it so he’s completely supported, but can push it with his legs to “walk”.
The first time was a few weeks ago, and he didn’t really get it. This time, he advanced his legs all on his own, and while he wasn’t actually putting any weight through his legs, it was AMAZING to see him actually moving his legs forward.
I was so excited. It was a very big deal. And I almost feel like people don’t exactly understand why I was so excited about it? But I guess that does come with the territory of special needs parenting in general. It is isolating. My husband was pretty excited too. He said he showed that video to a bunch of people. I thought that was cute.
It made me kind of realize that, yes, we do have different struggles. None of my kids have been milestone champions. But at least 2 of them I’m convinced are actually brilliant. Scarily so. And a different 2 are the most loving, gentle and kind creatures I’ve ever met.
We’re all running our own race.
Something I say all the time, and that I try to live by, is progress, not perfection.
That’s what we’re going for. Progress.
As long as we’re trying, as long as we’re moving forward…that’s all we can do. I really don’t care if my kid ever walks. I already have one in a wheelchair a portion of the time. All I care about is if they’re happy.
I’m nervous for this morning, for our trip to the NIH in a few weeks, and for life in general.
I’m just glad tonight ends in therapy. after last weeks telehealth session, I definitely need it. Which probably means I’ll mess something up and it won’t go well, knowing me. Ugh.
But really, you can’t tell me he’s not the most gorgeous 15 month old you’ve ever seen. I mean, I think so anyway.
