While I have spent the past 6 days emotionally recovering from the bullshit that life can sometimes be…I was handed yet another curveball.
As you may or may not know (but you probably do, let’s be honest), me and my 3 kids suffer from an insanely rare, and in fact non existent outside of our family, genetic disorder. It’s akin to a muscular dystrophy, so that makes things like, ya know…walking, hard.
Anyway, just about 48 hours ago, I fell. Nothing abnormal, I fall a lot. I don’t always get injured, but sometimes the injuries end up very much on the severe end of things.
This time, I fell kinda hard. I was holding baby goats, and I didn’t have my hands to protect myself. So I kind of turned to my side, and fell super hard on the right side of my butt. It hurt a ton, and my butt cheek is pretty nicely bruised and swollen today. But nothing crazy, nothing worse than what I’m used to from a fall.
Well, okay. So…we do honesty here…right?
Ugh. Of course we do. Okay. Well…buckle up then. This is…a fun one. Or something 🫣😂
So today was a super busy day. My husband had to be at work by 7am, and since we only have one car, that means all 5 of us needed to be up, dressed, fed, and out the door by 6:40am. I dropped him off at work, dropped my 6 year old off at school, and kept my oldest and youngest sons with me.
My oldest son had 2 appointments this morning, a dentist at 8:15 and a pediatrician appointment at 9:15. We finally got done with everything by 10:15, so I dropped him off at school and made it back home where I’d have barely any time for a nap for a toddler, and a meal for me, before we have to leave once again for his PT appointment.
So, yeah. Busy as heck day.
But it was when I got home from my crazy morning, and out my son in his bed for a nap…that’s when things got…concerning?
You shouldn’t be bleeding from there!
When I finally got to use the bathroom for the first time in about 6 hours, I noticed that there was…a concerning amount of blood in the toilet. Seeing as I take birth control in a manner where I specifically control/skip/plan my periods as I see fit…I was definitely alarmed and surprised to see that, because I’m definitely not supposed to be getting a period any time soon.
But….I quickly realized that that’s not where the blood was coming from.
Yup. I had a concerning amount of bright red blood pouring out of my butt.
Umm…I’m sorry, what??!
Yeah. I’m 30. I have no history of butt related issues, so, this was alarming.
A few minutes later I went back to the bathroom because I still felt weird, and a rather huge, larger than a quarter, sized blood clot came out.
That’s when I realized we might officially be in uh oh territory.
Since I don’t typically…or, ya know, EVER, bleed out of my butt, we were pretty scared. I called my husband, who works with doctors, and he told them the situation.
They said since I did just recently have a fall and some physical trauma, I am most likely internally bleeding, and something either tore inside of me when I fell, or I developed a rather large internal hematoma.
In other words, today, I’ve had ongoing trauma related bleeding from my butt. Including rather large blood clots. It’s been going on for a few hours, and while everyone in my life is telling me to go to the ER, I don’t want to do that.
I have so much medical PTSD and trauma, and I freaking hate hospitals. Plus, it’s embarrassing, vulnerable, and I really do not want a ton of doctors or nurses or whatever looking at or inside of my butt!
Plus, I doubt it’s anything actually serious…even though every logical reason is pointing to something serious…but I just can’t do it.
Yes, I’m still having this issue. It varies in intensity and volume, and I’m not doing anything like pushing or straining to cause it (yeah, we’re full in on the tmi here today 🙃).
If it’s still an issue tomorrow, at the very least, I’ll call my doctor. If it gets worse tonight before then, I will consider going to the ER.
We’ve already ruled out all benign causes, and it isn’t an…external issue.
Maybe I’m writing this post as a way to ease into the reality that I’ll probably have to end up going to be seen for this.
But it’s…obvious just a bit embarrassing. And I really don’t want to have to do this.
So, that’s where we stand today.
I fell 2 days ago, and now my butt is bleeding, which, according to both ChatGPT and my husband’s actual doctor coworkers, is the exact time bleeding from such an injury would occur.
Did you really expect my life to be boring? Come on now friend, you know we simply can’t do boring here!