Yesterday morning, in true my life fashion, was full of chaos and business.
It started off with my oldest son having his therapy session at 8am. Then me driving home, dropping him off, putting the baby to bed for his nap, and going straight back out to where I just was for my therapy session.
It’s been like 2 and a half weeks since I’ve been able to go because of the holidays and all that, so I was more than ready to go in there and just….I don’t even know what for 2 hours.
Whatever it was that happened, it was needed and necessary. We spend the first while basically recapping the past few weeks and alllll the chaos and such that’s ensued, talking about my sister aka the actual devil herself, my mom, all of it. We talked about values just briefly in terms of…picking them. She gave me a piece of paper with words on them and I circled mine.
I chose honesty, trustworthiness, love, kindness, security, and loyalty.
We talked about my son, and how his therapist wants to start talking about and working through his first year of life…and how I just so so so so do not want to do that. It’s like…the definition of trauma. And going back there and thinking about it and reliving it just is not something that’s easy or comfortable or something I thought I’d ever have to do. Let alone…with him.
It went well and I’m really glad I was able to keep to go yesterday instead of waiting until next Monday.
So…..Remember how my whole family has been sick? Like, for weeks? My mom started it a few weeks ago. Spread it to the kids, my brother and my dad. She went to urgent care on NYE and was given an antibiotic for bronchitis. Cool. She started feeling worse, and went back to the doctor yesterday. Well.
As I was driving to my therapy appointment, she texted me that she tested positive for flu A. Needless to say, I flipped the absolute fuck out. No ma’am. No thank you. Not today, not me!
So, she’s been sick for weeks, goes to urgent care (where they did not swab her for anything), then gets worse, and 4 days later tests positive for flu. Yeah. I’m pretty sure the flu is new. Which means, my super hero status will run out.
Yes, I was the queen that avoided every bit of round one, and the only one who did. And round one SUCKED. But here we are. Round 2. And even I cannot escape a household full of flu. Right now, it’s just my mom. This morning, the baby is heading to the doctor for a chest X-ray because I’m positive he has pneumonia from round 1….and now adding the flu on top of that would be literally catastrophic for him. Ugh.
Today is my son’s first day back at school in weeks since Christmas break started…..and now all I can think about is the lovely week at home I’ll have with him AGAIN when HE inevitably catches it too.
Maybe I’m being pessimistic. But I’m just over it. I could handle it when I was the super hero of health. But I can’t go down. There’s no time.
And to top it all off…my husband is being stupid again. Any time anything is just a little off he’s just…ugh. I’m hurt. Maybe I should give up. Maybe I should let him leave.
I’m just sick of hurting. And being sad.