Sometimes, life knocks you down. Over and over and OVER again. You try to get up, but it just keeps shoving you down. It’s relentless.
Eventually, the blows stop. Or…they at least cease fire long enough for you to uncover your eyes and look around, stand up, and try again.
So you pick yourself up. But you’re not stupid, you know you can EASILY be knocked right back down.
So your guard is up, and the walls around you are 20 feet tall. No one is getting in…no one can hurt you behind your walls.
But you don’t make it easy on yourself either. No, you have to push everyone away in the meantime. You don’t trust them anymore. You’ll push them away…then they’ll go away. Like the good little soldiers they are. They’d fight with you if you let them…until they don’t.
So it’s best to push them away first.
You can’t hurt me if I don’t let you.
Rebuilding.
Bittersweet. Alone, scared….but I’m standing up.
I’m ready to be knocked down again.
I’ll just keep standing back up.
Until I can’t.
I’ll battle this battle on my own.
I don’t trust you enough not to leave me when I need you….which would be now.
I can’t survive any more hurt.
And I KNOW that you can hurt me. So I can’t let you in. Not anymore.
I’ll rebuild.
But I’ll be doing it alone.
How many more times can I fall before I shatter?