Ohhh boy. Things have ramped up over the last few days here.
First of all, send up your prayers or good vibes or your positive energy or whatever you got to throw at me…because the flu is officially here.
Phoenix tested positive yesterday, and it’s only a matter of time before the rest of us get slammed with it.
Now, I don’t know if you remember from last year….but last year, we also got the flu too. And it was the first time I’ve had the flu in years. I know body aches are a common symptom of the flu, but when you have a nerve and muscle disorder, holy shit…I cannot even put into words the level of pain that I was in.
It seriously was the most physical pain I’ve been in throughout my entire body at one time, ever.
Poor Phoenix is pretty miserable but he’s such a champ, he really doesn’t complain much. He handles illness the best out of all 3 of my kids, so I’m not as concerned about effects from the flu taking him out as much as I might be for the other 2.
Christian’s 8th birthday is tomorrow…which is absolutely wild. I can’t believe I’m about to have an 8 year old. I’m hoping, but not hopeful, that he won’t wake up sick tomorrow. Phoenix’s symptoms started Monday evening, so the timeline is kind of just right for Christian to get sick by tomorrow, Friday at the latest. Same for me.
I’m currently sitting in the Walmart parking lot waiting for the pharmacy to open so I can run in and pick up meds for everyone, and get cupcakes and cake for Christian tomorrow in hopes that he isn’t completely miserable. Part of me just wants to celebrate his birthday tonight, just in case.
In other chaotic and unpredictable news…I might. Maybe. Just maybe. Be getting insurance soon.
Which…if you’ve been hanging around here for a while, you’ll know is a VERY big deal, and something that is extremely needed. Hey, if I have insurance, I might even be able to afford to keep going to therapy! Because I’ll be honest, it was about to have to get cut. And that just wouldn’t be okay.
I had therapy last night and it was definitely helpful. I think the focus right now is something along the lines of trying not to care about what my family, specifically my parents, think of me. Because it really does impact a very large part of how I feel and operate. But if I can just…not care? We’ll all be better off.
Obviously that’s easier said than done. But it would be nice to have that freedom.
Today is a huge mix of horrible and hopeful.
I’m terrified of the flu because of my experience with it last year. The pain I felt was truly unbearable. All while still having to parent and have kids at home.
But the idea of having insurance is….it feels hopeful.
I’m glad I got to go to therapy last night, it did help, and I’m trying to carry that “helpful” vibe with me. Especially since I’ll probably have the flu next week and have to cancel. I hope not. But that’s what my brain is preparing for.
I feel okay for now. Anxious, worried, but not down with the flu. Not yet.