My strongest desire right now is to run.
Run from my life.
Run from my problems, run from my fears.
Right now, things are just about as bad as they get.
On the outside? I’m seemingly very strong. Very put together…very normal.
But that’s not how I’m feeling.
I’m feeling frantic.
I’m feeling overwhelmed.
And I’m feeling like I just can’t take it.
I don’t want to be the strong one. I have to be…but I don’t feel like I can be.
I don’t want to use a bunch of words to say the same thing tonight.
It boils down to this.
On the outside, I’m killing it. I’m strong. I’m solid.
Because no one else in my life is, and I have to be.
But really? I’m a mess.
I want to run. I need to run.
There’s not a part of me that feels okay enough to stay here.
Yes. Outwardly, I’m functional. Communicative. Approachable and acceptable. But on the inside…my true feelings….that’s far from true.
I don’t know where we go from here.
But my urge is simply to run.