I don’t have depression right now…I am depression. That’s how it feels. Like, this isn’t something that I have. Or that I’m currently feeling.
It’s just what I am.
I am blah. And dead inside. I have nothing to me anymore. No emotions. No good ones anyway.
There’s nothing that sparks joy. Eating makes me feel physically sick. I have no desire to go outside to even hang out with my goats, and now all of the chores and responsibilities associated with them has fallen to my husband.
I’d rather lay in bed.
I don’t know what else to say today. There doesn’t seem to really be a point to anything anymore.
I was struggling… but hopeful. Clinging to the idea of better.
And now I’m just struggling and absolutely hopeless.