This flare up has been truly unimaginable. I feel like it’s taken everything from me. The past few weeks have been nothing but pain and hurting and…just trying to survive. My joints hurt, my head hurts, my body hurts, my nerves hurt. My freaking soul hurts. This summer has kicked my ass. Physically, emotionally and […]
It doesn’t end, does it Read More »
How I’ve been feeling these last few days…these last few weeks even…. It’s not okay. I feel like shit. Physically, I’m in the worst flare up I’ve been in in a long time. I can’t sleep both because of the extra levels of pain, and the additional nightmares. Despite my husband working what seems like
Running out of fight Read More »
For as different as things have been feeling lately…I think things are finally starting to fall into place a little bit. The out of the ordinary is starting to feel ordinary, the things not normally part of my day are starting to feel like a normal part of every day now, and the weird is
Keep trying, keep going, keep fighting Read More »
Okay. Let’s take a second to keep it real. Things have been rough lately. Really, really rough. My birth sons birthday, then Mother’s Day (one hell of a trigger, regardless of the fact that I parent 3 other children), a lot of challenging medical things with my kids (and myself), and a lot of loss.
Do you know what happens when you open up a pressure cooker without first releasing the pressure? Well, if you don’t, here’s what happens. “The contents will erupt violently, potentially causing serious burns, injuries, and property damage.” Thaaaaaaaats how I felt last night. And honestly, how I am still feeling now. Like I was opened
Emotions like a pressure cooker Read More »
I don’t know what I’m looking for, but I feel like I’m constantly searching for something. Something to fulfill me. To feel less empty, to feel like I have a place in this world. Or a purpose. I really don’t know. I just feel so… empty. Or lacking. Like there’s a part of me that
Searching for something Read More »
Ugh. That’s all I have to say this morning. My husband and I have been working our asses off lately trying to get caught up on our bills. Doing door dashing in every spare moment we have, trying to squeeze every workable ounce out of a day. Last night, it was a pretty horrible storm
Can’t ever get ahead Read More »
While the universe has been not so subtly kicking my ass the last few weeks, I have been struggling to hang in there. The more life shit and stress and all of the extra that piles on, the more overwhelmed and burnt out I get. I wish I could say we were out of the
Trying to find peace Read More »
The last few weeks have been…umm…how do we put this…really fucking brutal. The burnout is real, the exhaustion is insane, and I am just so…I don’t know. Tired. I know I haven’t talked about it a ton, but I’m actually doing mostly really well with the sobriety/not drinking thing. After the first 2 weeks of
When the depression kicks your ass Read More »
This past week has truly been…unfathomable. It’s been hard. And heartbreaking. And lonely, and brutal, and so on. I’ve been shut down. Because any alternative has honestly been too much to consider. I feel broken and…yeah. Just broken. I had therapy tonight after a truly horrific day. While I don’t yet have the words or
