A grateful boredom

Something absolutely crazy happened this morning.

Ready for it?

I dropped both of the big kids off at camp! 😳😳😳😳

Which means that I only have my 20 month old home with me. I am 2/3rds child free.

For the first time in like…5 and a half years, I only have one kid with me. It’s always 2. Or 3.

Today?

ONE.

And, he’s the easiest one! (Usually. Depending on my current definition of easy.) I mean, he naps, and he isn’t mobile, so in that regard, it’s just simpler.

I was planning on my 7 year old starting camp this week, but my parents pretty much begged me to send my 5 year old too. And hey, if they’re willing to pay for my freedom, who am I to say no!

We dropped them off at 7:30am, then I had an 8:15 appointment with Atlas that was as smooth as possible having only one kid and no reason to rush back home.

And now, it’s 11:15am, I don’t have any appointments for the rest of the day (for kids, I still have therapy tonight) and I’m just….well, I don’t know what I am.

It’s nice.

It might only last for today. Phoenix has never been away from me before. He’s starting kindergarten this year, but he’s never spent any time away from me besides being with another family member. I will say, he was not upset at all when we left, Christian was more upset and asking me not to leave. Phoenix started dragging Christian by his shirt so they could go inside and start doing things.

But still! I’m always going to worry about them. I can’t possibly not.

I have an entire day ahead of me and no idea what to do with it. It’s weird being alone in the house with just Atlas and without a million other people. It’s weird that I canceled therapy this week for those 2.

I knew it would be a weird transition in August when Phoenix started school, but I thought that was weeks away. All of this was just decided on yesterday. So, all of this has been rather abrupt.

They drive me insane. But I already miss them. I hope they are doing okay and that it’s an enjoyable experience for them.

It’s hard for me to let them go. The world is scary. Their health is a concern. And I hate not being there to make sure that they are safe. But I know I need to let them have these experiences.

It’s day 1. And it’s weird.

But it’s also good.

Quiet is good. Actually, it’s my favorite.

It leaves me plenty of time to be anxious as hell for therapy tonight!