Month: June 2022

When you feel so bad that you actually feel nothing

I feel every kind of blah that exists right now. Every part of my life feels so unfulfilling and vague. Like nothing is important, nothing matters, nothing is real. Everything feels so overwhelming and stressful. This pregnancy has kicked my ass physically, and I still haven’t gotten results from my amniocentesis nearly 3 weeks ago. …

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All or nothing

She’s right, I am all or nothing. It feels good or it doesn’t. And if it doesn’t feel good now, it must never have felt good. Laying next to me like a stranger instead of holding me like a friend. It isn’t his fault. I’m sure it’s mine. It always is. Right? Tonight did not …

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When genetics make adoption even more complicated

Recently, I’ve talked a bit about this pregnancy, and the genetic disorder I share with my 2 sons, and potentially this baby as well. What I haven’t talked about yet, is my 8 year old. My birth son. Each child I have, I learned, has a 50/50 chance of inheriting this brutal disease. We know …

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