Month: October 2021

Pain hides in the shadows, waiting for it’s moment.

Pain doesn’t go away. It doesn’t ever stop. At best, it changes. It doesn’t go anywhere…it waits patiently. Silently and boldly waiting to be addressed. Waiting for it’s time to be seen. Patiently knowing it’s time will come. Pain hides itself in the shadows, waiting for its moment to make itself known. It will be …

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Turn the chaos down and the music up

Hello there, the angel from my nightmareThe shadow in the background of the morgueThe unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valleyWe can live like Jack and Sally if we wantWhere you can always find meAnd we’ll have Halloween on ChristmasAnd in the night we’ll wish this never endsWe’ll wish this never ends…. Sometimes the only …

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“Unbecoming”

un·be·com·ingadjective1. (of behavior) not fitting or appropriate; unseemly Oh, goodness. Guys, I’ll be the first one to tell you. My (almost) 5 year old is actually a hot mess. His IQ is somewhere between “I get it, you’re smarter than me” and “shut the heck up already”…. 🙃 But seriously. This child has a very …

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Dear son, I’m not strong enough for any more goodbyes.

“I’m happy. I’m sorry you’re sad, but I’m so happy that he has a good heart.” “They way that he speaks, I think they would be friends. I know that they are brothers, but I think they would be friends.” Those are both statements my husband made last night after watching the video of my …

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I want therapy to go well, but I know I ruin things sometimes

Last night was BRUTAL. My dog was sick so he was pretty much every 30 minutes needing to go outside. I think I got 3 hours of sleep total. This is not super uncommon for him, he has always had GI issues. (Why is there something wrong with everyone who lives here?!) Anyway. I’m feeling …

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Last night was different in all the best ways

The night started rough. Not horrible, not even bad, but rocky. It went well and stayed stable until, you know, drink number 3ish took effect. Then things started to get vulnerable, things started to get real, and I’m so glad they did. For once, really, it’s been happening more often than not, but tonight things …

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You don’t know me, but I’m proud of you

(While this post is directed at a specific person, it also applies to you. Whoever is reading this. You don’t know me, but you’re still here, fighting whatever fight you’re fighting. And that’s something you should feel proud of.) Hey bud, this whole thing might sound super strange, but hang in there with me for …

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I feel so alone

I don’t know how I’m going to make it through today. I honestly don’t know if I want to. Everything hurts, everything is hard. Harder than it should be. I wish I could just say what I wanted to, what I really felt. Last night was rough. My husband wanted to go to bed at …

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