Yesterday, I gave myself the seemingly very impossible task of completing the 60 pages of paperwork that was sent to me by the NIH to complete. Well, I did it. I buckled down and focused, and I did all 60 pages of it. I kicked my husband and kids out so I could focus, and …
I don’t think I’ve ever gone more than 2 days without writing…so I figured I’d force myself to sit down right now and do it. It’s been a chaotic week. At no point, has it gotten any easier. I feel like I’m at my breaking point. I spent most of today in appointments and doctors …
Sometimes, you find yourself in a situation where there are truly just no right answers. Sure, there may be a slightly less wrong one? But really, given the choices, you wish you just didn’t have to choose at all. Because no matter what you do, you’ll feel like it was the wrong choice. (At the …
I have anxiety, but I don’t know where to put it. So it just sits there. Festering and growing. My body feels restless, my heart is about to pound out of my chest, and my mind is going a thousand miles a minute. I know what the problem is. Or, rather, problems. There’s no shortage …
The holidays are hard. Well, for some of us, anyway. For me, they’re quite hard. Thanksgiving is associated with a lot of trauma for me. It was the beginning of what would become…another version of hell for me. Growing up the way I did, in a household full of abuse and fear and trauma…I craved …
Oh, Sunday night. Here we are again. Another week, another anxious feeling. Monday looming in the not so distant future. This week will be a tough one, I won’t lie. Everyone home, a holiday week, an alternate schedule. The need to write is urgent and immediate…like, if I don’t get it out, I won’t feel …
When the anxiety is so palpable, you can hear nothing but your own heartbeat inside of your ears. Your chest feels like it’ll very likely explode with the next way too strong beat. You don’t want to drink more. You know that won’t help! But it does……..until it doesn’t. Until you take it too far. …
In typical Monday fashion, today is just FULL of appointments. After I drop my oldest off at school, the baby will (finally) start his new therapy for swallowing! It’s basically like e-stim on his neck and it should help him have an overall stronger swallow. We’re running hard and fast towards him getting a gtube, …
Well, yesterday went about as well and true to form as it could have possibly gone. I am happy to report that both of my children were EXACTLY, 100% themselves yesterday when their therapist came to our house. Chaos ensued as promised, and boy did she get a glimpse into the reality of my every …
When things go exactly as expected, and the unknowns of the future Read More »
If you’ve ever lived a life of chaos…of noise and people and more noise and just LITERALLY complete and utter chaos…you might feel like I do, and be hesitant to welcome people into your home. Well, a few days ago, I received this email from my kids therapist. So…a therapist I’ve known for a relatively …