I have been struggling a lot these past few days. Laundry? That’s a hard nope. Drinking more alcohol, having darker thoughts, thinking about dying and self harm, even when I’m sober… Everything is hard. I don’t want to do anything. Like, at all. Letting the kids watch tv so they are quiet and not screaming …
I don’t feel like myself lately. Or, maybe, more accurately…I feel like a version of myself that I really, really hate. I’ve been feeling so disconnected from everyone lately. I feel disconnected from my husband, I’m not feeling that close, loving connection that I always desperately long for…and I’m feeling the same way with my …
I started my day by scrambling to get to a doctor appointment that I forgot I had. Normally I’d just…not go…but this is a neurology appointment, and they’re actually really important. All 3 kids went to see their neuromuscular doctor the other day, and that was a loooong day. We spent almost 6 hours in …
It’s no secret that lately, I’ve been heading down a dark path. A path that I’m honestly trying to get off of. I’m working a lot harder in therapy and trying to stick to the goals we come up with, I’m being more open and honest…I opened up to my best friend about it… But …
I don’t want to burden you, but thank you for being there. Read More »
Aside from the drama I’m about to tell you, I’ll fist start off by saying that we’re currently in an icy winter storm, and we’ve had no power since yesterday, and likely won’t for a few more days. Yaaaaaay Texas. Anyway. What I have yet to disclose or talk about, is that my mom was …
Sometimes I don’t have the words to name how I feel. This weekend was brutal. The past 3 weeks really have been insane and nonstop and stressful. I was hoping that yesterday would bring some relief and calmness…but it did not. My husband took my 2 older sons out for a little while and I …
The drink is my friend when no one else is. When I won’t let anyone else be. It’s there for me on the bad days, the hard days, the long days. The drink is my enemy in a cold, dark world. It hurts me, betrays me, convinces me that wrong is right. It wants to …
Nightmares are nothing new to me. For the majority of my life, I’ve suffered from then at varying intensities. They can be anywhere from a mild annoyance to completely life altering and causing me to be unable to sleep. It’s actually a big reason why I started drinking. If I drink enough, I don’t remember …
If I had to assign a word to the year 2022, it would probably be chaotic. It’s been a long year. In a lot of ways, 2022 has been good to me. It brought me my baby. It brought me 9 months of sobriety. My marriage got stronger, my friendships got closer, and I think …
Things are just…they are really just kind of wow right now. First of all. The kids are sick AGAIN. I swear we’ve been home for weeks without going anywhere so I don’t even know how it’s possible. I’m annoyed and frustrated and exhausted. This whole week has been a shit show. My mom found out …