Sometimes I don’t know how to stop the sadness. It feels too big, too consuming. It almost feels cyclical. There are times of the day where I seem to always feel worse. In the morning, after my husband leaves for work and I’m left with facing the day alone. After I put the kids to …
Dear #1, Tonight is not a special night. It’s not a birthday, not an anniversary, not a momentous night by any means. But it is you who occupies my mind tonight. To be honest, you occupy my mind nearly always. But I don’t often allow the thoughts of you to grow. Thinking of you causes …
As the title states….yeah. I just have no idea. Tomorrow I’ll have more more collected (sober?) thoughts. But for tonight… My husband came to therapy again tonight. We’ve been “sunshine and rainbows” this past week after shit seemed to hit the fan last week. Very typical of our relationship….ebbs and flows. It’s more often good …
Today is a Monday, and it feels like a Monday. The lather – rinse – repeat of the week set to start all over again. I need a change, but I don’t know what that change is. Most days I wake up full of dread instead of hope. I know what my days hold for …
Another night spent welcoming the morning. An empty glass begging to be refilled. No thought consumes my mind more than the anxiety of an empty glass. He begs to go to bed. Not in words, but in actions. This divide is causing issues I don’t know how to solve. “I’m used to it”, he says. …
I don’t know the word to fill in the blank. I don’t think it’s gremlins, I don’t think it’s monsters. Maybe animals? But I am definitely living a life of chaos right now. Parents out there…you hear me, right? Man. We all have those periods of time where it just feels like every single day …
Pain is pain. We can acknowledge its existence or we can deny it. Either choice won’t make it go away. Something hurts. You feel pain, but you don’t want to. So you act like it doesn’t bother you, you stuff it down, smile…. “move on”. But can you really just ignore the pain, pretend it …
When you’re taking your emergency anxiety medicine before 7am…you know it’s going to be a rough day. It’s not really strictly “emergency” medicine…I just don’t like how it makes me feel. I only take it when the anxiety is so bad I feel like I could literally explode. Lately, anxiety has been a constant presence …
Covid has stolen a lot from all of us. Directly or indirectly, it’s messed with all of our lives. In an enormous way. A few weeks ago, someone close to me lost their husband to it. One of my best friends is now struggling and fighting for her life because of it. She is in …
Let me be frank. Shit got Weird Saturday night. And not in a good way. As some of you might know, there have been a few times over the past couple of months that I have been sexually assaulted, with the worst offense being (raped but I really hate that word so I would really …