Month: November 2022

Red flags

My body is throwing up some red flags. At this point, I can either continue to ignore them and face the consequences that will follow, or I can slow down and listen. My anxiety has become more physical than ever, and I feel like I’m going to explode from the inside out. I’m short, I’m …

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Wagon? What wagon?

Off the wagon: to be drinking alcohol again after a period of abstinence. If an alcoholic could ever drink “responsibly” (which they can’t), I’m sure it would look a lot like this. A lot like what I’m doing now. Drinking in “reasonable” amounts, only at night, and not harming anyone. Well, at least no one …

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Exhaustion.

I’m probably about as burnt out as one can be. I’m currently running on 4 hours of sleep, and the night before that wasn’t much better. Last night was super rough because now the baby is dealing with reflux, which both of my other kids did, so we were expecting it. But damn, it really …

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Desperation? Or beauty in the pain?

Do you ever feel just so completely desperate? Desperate to feel better, to feel differently…to feel anything? That’s how I feel right now. Just…so, so desperate. My feelings are not cooperating with me. I’m existing in a space that feels quite difficult to occupy. My mind and my body don’t want to exist, while my …

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