depression

Freedom looks different on all of us

Here in good ole America, it’s the 4th of July. A day you celebrate independence and freedom…or whatever. Current thoughts on that aside…yesterday, I was watching my son and really thinking about what that means, what independence means. I was watching my 5 year old son play outside yesterday and he started getting frustrated and …

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Remember why you’re here, remember why you’re fighting

That’s the thought that’s rattling around in my head this morning. Remember why you’re here, remember why you’re fighting. It can be so, so easy to forget why. And to give in to the never ending, negative, intrusive thoughts. It’s hard to fight when you’re just so fucking tired of it all. But it’s in …

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It’s July! And all that that means….

My birthday is next Friday, which I’m honesty a little bit excited for. I very sarcastically make a big deal out of my birthday every year and hope my husband comes through in making me feel special. Honestly, he usually does a pretty good job. It just feels like the one and only day of …

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When you feel so bad that you actually feel nothing

I feel every kind of blah that exists right now. Every part of my life feels so unfulfilling and vague. Like nothing is important, nothing matters, nothing is real. Everything feels so overwhelming and stressful. This pregnancy has kicked my ass physically, and I still haven’t gotten results from my amniocentesis nearly 3 weeks ago. …

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All or nothing

She’s right, I am all or nothing. It feels good or it doesn’t. And if it doesn’t feel good now, it must never have felt good. Laying next to me like a stranger instead of holding me like a friend. It isn’t his fault. I’m sure it’s mine. It always is. Right? Tonight did not …

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