Holidays are tough for me. Thanksgiving, specifically, is one of the worst. I grew up in an extremely cold, abusive and scary household, with the abuser being my sister. I am not at all a hateful person, but I can confidently say that hatred is the only feeling I have towards her. She is 9 …
Of all of the parts of my story, of everything that has existed in my life that has made me who I am, this is by far the hardest for me to talk about. This is the only part of my story that I can not talk about without there being almost a guarantee of …
The thing about trauma and PTSD is that it can come up unexpectedly and seemingly out of nowhere. I have a pretty significant amount of PTSD and all of that, but still, things frequently take me by surprise about what can be triggering or scary. Last year on Independence Day, my family shot off fireworks …
In my senior year of high school, things had pretty much gone to shit. I had decided I was done. The pain was too much, the grief, life had gotten the best of me. I knew I needed help, I knew I wasn’t long for this world if things didn’t change. Simply put, I was …
(You can find parts 1 and 2 of my backstory here) Shortly before I graduated high school, when things were just at an all time low for me, I was basically in self preservation mode. I was doing anything I could think of just to survive. I had just gotten out of that 3 year …
If you missed part 1, you can find that here. It details everything up until this point. So far, we’ve been through an abusive and traumatic home life, multiple surgeries, an (at that time) undiagnosed genetic disorder, and a whole slew of other issues. I’m battling with horrible depression, anxiety, insomnia, ptsd, and surgical recovery, …
As I’ve mentioned, I didn’t have the easiest time growing up. My sister, who is 9 years older than me, and the oldest of 3, was incredibly abusive towards me and terrifying to live with. She has a whole alphabet soup of mental health disorders which were all unmanaged and untreated, despite my parents (seemingly) …
The name of my first blog was “The fight for my life”. That’s really what it was at the time, I was fighting for myself. For a reason to exist, to push through all of the pain (physical and emotional) that I was going through. That blog detailed my journey of all that I was …
In April 2011, when I was 16 years old, I created a blog. It grew rather large, and the first post was titled “who am I?” It only felt right, 10 years and 2 months later, to begin in similar fashion. Who I was then vs. who I am now is both very much the …