The dark nights

An unedited truth

Do you ever spend your nights getting blackout drunk while simultaneously googling things like “recovery coaches” or “AA meetings in your area”? No? Just me? Okay, well shit. Maybe that means that I’m making progress. Or maybe it means that I’m regressing. Honestly, who the fuck knows. Here’s a little behind the scenes info for …

An unedited truth Read More »

The end?

If you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see, you can find out firsthand what it’s like to be me… I’m not so okay. But I’m hanging on. I’m questioning life and what it means, and if I really even belong here anymore. It’s been a rough day after a rough week. …

The end? Read More »

The nightmares have returned

Nightmares are nothing new to me. For the majority of my life, I’ve suffered from then at varying intensities. They can be anywhere from a mild annoyance to completely life altering and causing me to be unable to sleep. It’s actually a big reason why I started drinking. If I drink enough, I don’t remember …

The nightmares have returned Read More »

One more Sunday

Dear weekend, I’m not quite ready for you to leave me just yet. You were too busy, too fast, too chaotic. If I could just have one more day, one more Sunday… I’m just not ready to move on yet. I’m not ready to meet Monday where it is. Sunday, you weren’t good to me …

One more Sunday Read More »

Red flags

My body is throwing up some red flags. At this point, I can either continue to ignore them and face the consequences that will follow, or I can slow down and listen. My anxiety has become more physical than ever, and I feel like I’m going to explode from the inside out. I’m short, I’m …

Red flags Read More »

Some days just suck.

Sometimes, I feel like the world is out to get me sometimes. But I also know that I’m like…this fucking small, and the universe doesn’t actually give a shit about me. Still, some days are hard. Today was hard as shit. I didn’t feel good physically, nothing went well at all, and I completely collapsed …

Some days just suck. Read More »