Of all holidays, I think that New Years is one that means the most to me. The idea of letting go, of starting over….the concept of hope. And change. It feels powerful. There’s no other day of the year that holds as much promise for change. It’s a day on the calendar, yes. But for […]
Ready to say goodbye, and reflecting on all that was. Read More »
This week has been challenging in more ways than one. And quite frankly, I’m ready for everything to go back to “normal”. Anytime my oldest son is home from school…..it basically turns the entire time into a nightmare. An expected nightmare, but a nightmare nonetheless. Just the constant fighting and yelling and taking and all
A week of challenges. And what do I value? Read More »
How dare this day make me leave my bed. I mean, seriously. Is it so unreasonable for me to just stay in the safety and warmth of my bed all day? This is my husbands first day back at work since my son had surgery last Thursday. So, in almost a week. Making today the
The most Monday Wednesday that there’s ever been Read More »
Phewwwww. Well, we survived Christmas. Christmas Eve day was tough. And a bit triggering. But we got through it. I spent mostly all day wrapping gifts…as I hadn’t even started before then. It was nice to have something distracting to do on an otherwise extremely difficult day. The nighttime was spent building bikes for the
Glad that’s over, and I NEED that dime! Read More »
Merry Christmas Eve to anyone who does the whole Christmas thing. I am doing my best to not let the anxiety of this season get to me…and I think I’m doing a…decent job? Phoenix handled his surgery mostly well the other day. He had a lot of trouble recovering from the anesthesia, and a few
Tis the season, I suppose Read More »
This morning is another surgery day. This time, for our 5 year old. It isn’t his first, and he’s more upset about having to be hungry (fast) than of being in the hospital. He’s having his adenoids taken out and his nose cauterized. He can literally never breathe, and we’re hoping this helps. His adenoids
Surgery days are hard Read More »
Monday nights have been Monday nights for about as long as I can remember. They’ve been mine. They’ve been therapy nights. The very few hours a week I have all to myself. To process. To feel. To…everything. As unpredictable as life, and the very nature of therapy is…it was nice to come home to consistency
Ohhhhh boy. Just a bit of a preface here…I am feeling better today…as in…I don’t plan on getting drunk and killing myself. And I think I can…hesitantly say that my husband and I are back to normal. But it took a while to get there. Life this past week has been nothing short of absolutely
A week of chaos and unpredictability Read More »
What do you do when each day, you wonder if it might be your last? Things aren’t going great around here. I’m all kinds of fucked up, and I’m all kinds of shut down. I have 2 kinds of depression, or crisis mode, or whatever the fuck you want to call it. One where I
Today was a bad day. One of the worst. I don’t know how to talk about it, I don’t know if I have the energy to. But today was disgusting. Tonight doesn’t feel much better. And I doubt tomorrow holds much promise either. I’m so hurt. And broken. And sad. Just…so fucking sad. I can’t
Hurting. Just…hurting. Read More »
