This post ends up going a lot of places that I didn’t expect to talk about. It’s a hard one…but a good one. It’s been a “snow day” kind of week here in Texas. And by that, I mean, it got really cold. And sort of snowed. And the state shut down. No work, no […]
Feelings, feelings, feelings. And snow days. Read More »
Last night, as my husband was just getting home from work, I boldly exclaimed let’s go out! We hard to urgently go to Joann’s, a huge craft store, so I could indulge in my latest crafting expedition. I have nearly every kind of crafting skill, needle art, diamond painting, cross stitching…etc. I’ve turned to creative
Hanging on, and giving my brain a chance. Read More »
I wrote the majority of this post last night. And every word I said is true and honest. But, perhaps more honestly, it can be boiled down into fewer, simpler words. I tried to drink less. And I failed. And that makes me feel like even more of a worthless, failure of a human being
….or not to drink? But the demons don’t care. Read More »
I can convince myself all day long that I have my alcohol usage under control. I can convince myself, I can convince you…it’s a skill I’ve pretty much mastered at this point. More days than not this past week, I’ve woken up and wondered to myself if maybe I should, once again, *attempt* sobriety. Aside
Ready to admit that I’m losing control. Read More »
Today was a bad day. Straight up, point blank. A bad day. It did not go the way I hoped it would, in fact, this entire week has not gone the way I thought it would. My husband and I got into an argument again, mostly because of communication (and his extreme lack there of),
When you don’t handle conflict the same way, anxiety, and some self hatred. Read More »
How many times do you go to write a post, give it a title, start writing it, think of a better, more accurate title, delete what you’ve written, and start over? Usually it happens when I start writing with a filter. And it feels so fucking fake, I can’t stand it. And want to be
Today was a rough day. That’s okay, that happens sometimes. My body has not been feeling its best self physically, my emotions are all over the place… It’s just been rough. In more ways than one. It’s nights like these, where I’m feeling a little bit extra fragile, that I need to…..be careful of. I’m
Self medicating sucks. Until it doesn’t. And then it does again. Read More »
Well, my husband has been gone for a while now. For honestly, what feels like forever. (He’s taking care of his dad who has been in a serious health decline.) I guess I’m feeling particularly lonely tonight. And it isn’t even 9pm yet! Last night I joked that after 9pm, my life basically just becomes
When the nights get longer and longer Read More »
Tonight, like so many nights from the past, has me sitting on my bathroom floor, alone, drinking, while my husband is asleep in bed. It’s not that late. It’s only 10ish pm at the start of this writing. (Which speaks nothing of the potential end of this writing. Because as I get ready to post
Familiar, yet unfamiliar. And that is so important. Read More »
Well, in typical Monday fashion (and every day lately) my morning, once again, started way too early at 4:30am. Ugh. When your kids, who, theoretically are old enough to know better, continuously wake you up way too early in the morning (between 3 and 5am) every single day….it can be really hard to get past
Letting go of anger Read More »