It’s nights like these….where the day was a little bit too long. The triggers were a little bit too triggering. And the thoughts are a little bit too heavy. You’re doing your best…but you know you’re failing. Honesty has been a bit of a struggle for me here lately. Possibly because I’m fighting so hard, […]
When you want to reach out….but you don’t know how Read More »
I’m definitely in a good bit of a funk right now. I’m hanging in there and doing the best that I can, but I can honestly say that I’m not where I want to be right now mentally. The weather is changing, it’s warming up…which means more stress on my heart and in my body
The lows will happen sometimes Read More »
Ugh. I should’ve seen it coming a few days ago when I completely ran out of spoons, and have been at maybe 1 or 2 a day ever since. But, alas. Here we are. Properly seated in a flare up. Everything hurts, the brain fog is dense is shit, and I feel pretty horrible. Think…the
Who ordered this flare up? Read More »
I’ve tried to be…stable at best…when it comes to alcohol lately. And for the most part, I’ve succeeded. Keeping it stable. Not increasing. Not allowing the negative emotions or demons or life circumstances to influence my nighttime decision making process. And honestly, the past few months or so? I’ve been killing it. But. But. Something
Awakening the beast Read More »
Waking up this morning felt like I left the parts of myself required to be a functioning adult in yesterday. As soon as I woke up, I felt…off. Legitimately like I’m lacking something. A serious lacking of spoons? Depression? The burden of a long as hell week catching up with me? All of the above
More than I have to give Read More »
I can’t help but feeling and thinking about just how vastly different things are now than how they were even just 5-6 months ago. Last night, I had therapy. Not with my therapist who I’ve had for literally the past 10 years straight of my life…but with someone extremely new, when you’re measuring it to
Trusting the process Read More »
The big kids are home from school today. That means I’ve got all 3 tiny monsters home all day while my husband is at work. Lucky him. It’s already been a morning, but we made it to nap time. That gives me 2-3 hours of one less tiny monster if I’m lucky. Phew. It’s just
We all need something special sometimes Read More »
Well…you know what I always say. My life will never be boring. I will always have something to talk about, something crazy going on. And oh, how this held true yesterday. Yesterday morning, my 15lb dog, Calvin, decided he wanted to ✨spice✨ up my day. He had some help from my 2 year old, but
When your dog eats poison Read More »
One year later, and absolutely nothing is the same. February 13th, 2024. Just 4 days after our family returned home from our trip to the NIH. Our lives would truly be changed forever. It was a Tuesday morning. I dropped the my oldest son off at school, a first grader just beginning his school career.
One year later, and a whole lot more broken. Read More »
I have so much racing through my mind and my heart. So much that I’m feeling, thinking…hoping for and afraid of. I feel so much. Yet, I don’t feel like I have any words. It happens occasionally, more often than I’d like…maybe twice a year or so. But I get this feeling. Like…I’m so broken.
