The holidays are hard. Well, for some of us, anyway. For me, they’re quite hard. Thanksgiving is associated with a lot of trauma for me. It was the beginning of what would become…another version of hell for me. Growing up the way I did, in a household full of abuse and fear and trauma…I craved …
It’s been a rough 24 hours. And the later it gets into the night, the more I’m allowing myself to feel it. I was actually in the middle of writing my tomorrow post. A little behind the scenes for you, I like to have my posts for the day done by 8:30am at the latest. …
Will you feed my depression with chocolate and coffee and hugs? Read More »
When I woke up yesterday, I was so excited it was Friday. As you may or may not know by now, Friday is the one day of the week that I don’t have any standing appointments. Often, I’ll schedule doctor appointments on Fridays, but not always. My excitement for my “quieter than normal day” quickly …
Sick babies, cozy cuddles, and worst case scenarios. Read More »
You know those nights that you can just…..predict where they’re going to go? Somewhere around 5pm today, that happened. I knew exactly where this night was going to go, and I asked my husband to help prevent that. Earlier in the day, he got frustrated with me. Me, already being sensitive, thought “oh great, he’s …
Last night was the single most intense and terrifying night of my life. I was absolutely sure I was going to die. Let me back up. First of all, it was a great night! It was fun and a whole vibe and just…a good night. (I know, what the fuck am I talking about. Right? …
I’m alive, I have new trauma, and the adventure continues! Read More »
I think it’s fair to say that the hardest topic for me to write about it my kids and their struggles. All 3 of my kids struggle physically, a courtesy of the genetic disorder that the 4 of us share. But sometimes, my oldest son in particular, struggles with behavior as well. Now, this is …
My best friend saved my life last night. I’m sure that sounds dramatic. I’m sure that sounds extra. But I assure you, it’s really not. I wasn’t in danger from myself. I’m doing just fine. My emotions and my…all of that…is truly doing just fine. But at some point last night…I started to feel unsafe. …
I had therapy this morning, and even though I had a really rough week, it definitely went well. It’s a good thing my husband and I got in a fight that completely dysregulated me and freaked me out over the weekend. (Kidding, but also sort of not.) Anyway, it started off the same way it …
I’ll be honest, as far as weekends go, this one was a pretty horrible one. Saturday during the day was actually okay. My husband took the 2 older boys out for a little bit during the day, and when he came home, he brought me a special dinner and gelato for me and the kids. …
Tonight has started out like all the other nights in the past where I ended up almost killing myself, or drinking so much that it nearly ended in tragedy. I’m in a fragile place right now. My husband and I have NOT always been on solid ground. Probably 3ish years ago, things were horrible and …