Did you know that the maximum volume of a 2023 Kia Carnival is only 45? And did you know, that in the throws of pretty extreme emotional distress, 45 is not nearly loud enough? Now, I’ve had some tough drives home from therapy. Drives when the music just HAS to be louder than the thoughts […]
All I can do is try. And keep trying. Read More »
Sometimes, you find yourself in a situation where there are truly just no right answers. Sure, there may be a slightly less wrong one? But really, given the choices, you wish you just didn’t have to choose at all. Because no matter what you do, you’ll feel like it was the wrong choice. (At the
I have anxiety, but I don’t know where to put it. So it just sits there. Festering and growing. My body feels restless, my heart is about to pound out of my chest, and my mind is going a thousand miles a minute. I know what the problem is. Or, rather, problems. There’s no shortage
All this anxiety, and nowhere to put it Read More »
The holidays are hard. Well, for some of us, anyway. For me, they’re quite hard. Thanksgiving is associated with a lot of trauma for me. It was the beginning of what would become…another version of hell for me. Growing up the way I did, in a household full of abuse and fear and trauma…I craved
I did my best today Read More »
When you go to therapy long enough, a funny thing happens. You start realizing things. You start understanding things about yourself a little bit more, you start recognizing that the things you do that you thought were harmless, just might not be. And you start to be able to recognize these patterns on your own…eventually…without
When therapy is helpful, even outside of the therapy room. Read More »
Sometimes, therapy just….is what it is. I knew last night would be hard. I knew I’d have to talk about the things that hurt the most. And that’s exactly what happened. As soon as I got there, she basically said “let’s color today, it seems like a good day for coloring”. I totally didn’t disagree.
You can’t break a broken heart Read More »
If you’ve been hanging around here for a while, you’re probably quite familiar with therapy Mondays. But. Have you ever heard of …. Therapy Sunday?!?! That’s right! This weekend also consisted of surprise therapy! Granted, not with my therapist, but my kids. She wanted to meet with me and my husband without the kids, and
When the rain and coffee brings comfort Read More »
Oh, Sunday night. Here we are again. Another week, another anxious feeling. Monday looming in the not so distant future. This week will be a tough one, I won’t lie. Everyone home, a holiday week, an alternate schedule. The need to write is urgent and immediate…like, if I don’t get it out, I won’t feel
When the anxiety is so palpable, you can hear nothing but your own heartbeat inside of your ears. Your chest feels like it’ll very likely explode with the next way too strong beat. You don’t want to drink more. You know that won’t help! But it does……..until it doesn’t. Until you take it too far.
If I leave first, you can’t hurt me Read More »
I can convince myself all day long that I have my alcohol usage under control. I can convince myself, I can convince you…it’s a skill I’ve pretty much mastered at this point. More days than not this past week, I’ve woken up and wondered to myself if maybe I should, once again, *attempt* sobriety. Aside
Ready to admit that I’m losing control. Read More »