While the universe has been not so subtly kicking my ass the last few weeks, I have been struggling to hang in there.
The more life shit and stress and all of the extra that piles on, the more overwhelmed and burnt out I get. I wish I could say we were out of the woods when it comes to sickness and kid issues, but we are not. And on top of that, my own physical health is definitely questionable at best.
Despite all of that, I am trying. I’m trying to do my best. To keep my head above water. And to find small moments of peace…wherever I can find them.
This morning I was grumpy because we woke up a few minutes later than usual, and that left me with no time to start my day with coffee. Which, in my brain, is basically a crisis.
I managed to sneak away, with my husband’s insistence, for a good 3 minutes to drink a lukewarm half a cup of coffee before we had to leave for school and work drop off in the morning, so I felt a little bit better.
My husband and I have also started doing door dash in our (very limited) free time lately to earn a little bit of extra money. Honestly, it’s nothing game changing, and it doesn’t even feel worth it for the amount of time put in, but it’s at least enough to make our bank account not over drafted before he gets paid next.
I wish I could find a way to be less physically tired. I think if I just had more energy, I would feel less defeated by it all. But I guess that’s just a part of it. I don’t know. It just feels harder than it should.
I know if I keep trying to focus on minding those little moments of peace and even happiness…I’ll feel a lot better.
And right now, it’s that I have a small amount of time to kill before I need to leave again to take my youngest son to PT. I got all my chores done, and I can just chill out for a moment.
I’d do well with a good, long rest. Away from people and stress and responsibilities. But in the absence of that, I guess a few minutes will have to do.
