Enigma

I’m okay….but I’m not.

I’m fighting…but all I want to do is quit.

I want to die…but I can’t give up.

I want you, but I don’t. Please go away.
Why did you leave? Don’t you know that I fucking need you???

No one loves me. I’m a cancer. I’m a fuck up. I’ll never be worth anything to anyone.
I still must be worth it to someone.

I love him… he doesn’t love me. I absolutely must push him away.
I just wish he loved me.

Every single part of me contradicts another.

Nothing about me makes sense.

I need you, yet I run from you.
I wish you cared, but I know you’re lying when you act like you do.

I’m not worth it, I don’t deserve to be here taking up space…
but I must be just a bit less worthless than I think I am…right?

I’m a fuck up, but I’m doing the best I can.

I need to keep fighting, I know I can get there. Things can be better.
I should just give up.

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