Today was a fucked up day. And sometimes, there’s simply no other way to put it than that.
It was not a good weekend…and I anticipated it to be as such. However, I did NOT anticipate it to be the actual absolute shit storm that it was.
But sometimes, special needs parenting be like that.
Take it in stride and move on.
I have to say, as fucking hard as today was, I’m really proud of myself. I didn’t let a damn thing get to me. I rolled with the punches. I never once lost my cool.
I let my husband discipline for the most part, I took a step back, and I just….I made it my goal to not let anything get to me.
Coming into the weekend, I knew it would be rough. It was the perfect storm. Sick, sleep deprived kids. And my…challenging…child being put on steroids on top of it? Yeah. I knew.
It was worse than I imagined, but still within the realm of possibilities I could anticipate.
I’ve been struggling a lot more with substance use lately. Something that deserves its own post and its own honest, vulnerable moment.
Tonight, my goal was to get “properly fucked up”.
And I have.
And now I’m telling myself to rein it in. Don’t let this night get away from you.
It was a bad day. A bad weekend.
But that isn’t an excuse.
It’s not an excuse to make bad decisions now.