Well, in weird December fashion, here we are in Texas dealing with level 3 severe weather threats and tornados.
Even though it’s Saturday and we should all be home, my mom (who works as a physical therapist in home health) was scheduled to work today. So she’ll be out driving in storms all over to different peoples homes, which I really, really hate.
We’ve already lost internet, I’m assuming we’ll see our power go at some point today too.
I have a love hate relationship with storms and rainy/severe weather. I used to be all about it (as long as I was home) but now it definitely gives me a strong feeling of fear and anxiety. After the Spring that we had here, and my car being totaled as a result of one of those huge storms…I just see it differently now.
My life is a shit storm in it of itself without any actual rain contributing to it. 🤦🏻♀️
I’m doing my best to hang in there this week. It’s rough with everyone home. My sister, who is committed to torturing me with her existence, the kids being home from school for winter break…it’s just a LOT all at once.
I’ve been crocheting a lot to save my sanity. But because I WANT to, not because I have to, like I did for my birth son to get his gift sent out on time with a very short window of time. (Which, by the way, STILL has not arrived, and somehow is in South Carolina instead of Connecticut?!?!)
It’s nice to make something for myself, knowing I don’t have to give it away and I can appreciate it and just be on my own timeline. I’ve never made anything and kept it, so it’s a nice change of pace. It feels more like self care that way. This particular pattern (a cute little sting ray) uses glow in the dark yarn, and it’s SO CUTE!
I took this picture last night at like 1am when I was going to bed, and this is completely unedited and no filters or anything, it just legit looks that cool.
Depression is still kicking my ass. And I don’t really know if I can avoid it or get myself out of it at this point. I just feel really…blah. And bad. And dark. I’m clawing my way out of it as best as I can…but shit. Maybe I just need a nap. Or coffee. Or chocolate. Probably all of that at more.
I’m surviving. Even though I’m drowning, I’m trying to survive.
Well, it’s officially hailing now. And this storm is only just getting started. So, there’s that.
I’ll leave you today with one of my favorite pictures I took yesterday. I took it when all 3 kids and my husband and the dog were outside playing. It feels accurate and representative of life right now.
Chaos in the background, and a big ass smiling dog right in front, not leaving my side, and hanging out with his boys, completely unfazed by their chaotic existence.
