Him – “Do you want to go to the bathroom and then come to bed? Me – “No. I don’t want anything. I want another drink. (Hesitation) Him – “Well, you can drink more if you want to, but just know it’s not because of a lack of love.” Well played, sir. Well played. This […]
When you choose love over alcohol Read More »
Tonight you won. Really, your battle began this morning. I’m wiped, I’m exhausted, and I’m hurt. So this will be short. I struggle to defeat you. It feels laughable to even consider it a possibility. Defeat may not, may never be a choice…..but perhaps an occasional victory could be? Tomorrow I’ll face the physical demons
Dear alcohol and the one who thinks he owns me, Read More »
Tolerance is a funny thing with many different meanings and uses. Usually, tolerance is a good thing. Our ability to withstand a situation or experience. How patient we may be, how much we can accept, put up with…how long until we crack. Like I said, it’s usually the desired effect. Then there’s the other side.
As tolerance increases, tolerance decreases. Read More »
Am I allowed to say that? Am I allowed to be that honest? I know that with the shit I write, I’m clearly not okay, I’m not pretending to be. But am I allowed to be so bold as to just say it? Like… I’m fucking not okay right now. I’m not. I had a
Here we are again. A night resembling so many others. Loneliness is the enemy. Self doubt and fear is the company. Alcohol is the constant….is the welcomed familiar. Alcohol is the mute button. Good ole Kraken. Coming to save to day. Or ruin it. Depending on perspective, of course. I say I’ll have one drink.
Pour another drink. No, I meant one more. No really, just one more. Okay, maybe another. Read More »
Good morning, Saturday. I’m glad you’re finally here. Although truthfully, I’m never quite sure what to do with you. This morning I woke up and my husband already knew it, that you and I needed the day together. So without even asking, he took the kids out and will entertain them for the next few
Don’t mess up the weekend Read More »
(((I know, I know. I’m writing a lot the past few days. I tend to do that. I feel things and I either completely shut down and stop all forms of communication, or I just try to write it all out. I guess I’m in that phase now?))) A hangover is guaranteed for tomorrow. But
Alcohol vs. …everything? Read More »
Hello again, alcohol. I did well these past few days with less of you, but I knew it was a temporary fix. Why would I need to drink when literally in “the happiest place on earth”? I had no need to. Not that one ever has a “need” for alcohol…but still. I drank to sleep,
The curse and comfort of alcohol Read More »
I feel like a broken soul. Too damaged to be fixed. Too lost for hope to find its way back to. Another night alone with too much alcohol. The only presence capable to dull this enormous pain. I want to be done, but I can’t be. I want to cry, but I can’t. If I
Well crap. If that isn’t a handful, I don’t know what is. They feed off each other. They exist to torture me. I see no point for them to be exist otherwise. Combine all of that with loneliness? And you’ve got the hot mess express, ticket for one, rolling in real quick. You’d think drinking
Alcohol, insomnia, and nightmares. Read More »
