When your motivation is like the weather, you can probably count on exactly nothing to have a significant or lasting change. According to the dictionary, motivation is described as: the reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way. It can also be defined as: the general desire or willingness of someone to […]
Motivation like the weather Read More »
For a second night in a row, it approaches midnight when I get the strongest urge to explore my thoughts and write them down. This topic deserves so much more than a late night post. And it will get the attention that it surely does deserve. But for tonight, for now, I’m living in the
Insecure, afraid, but trying? Read More »
Sometimes, the things we spend so long focusing on tend to do just the opposite. Fall out of focus. Like, you spend just so long prioritizing an issue or a problem, you put so much attention and focus on it…and progress stalls out. You don’t succeed as much as you’d have hoped or thought by
Refocusing on the hardest of goals Read More »
Over the past few weeks, I’ve been put in a position completely foreign and unknown to me. After 10 years working with the same therapist, a person who I came to develop an insanely strong and therapeutic relationship with, I am finding myself in the position of starting over. And frankly, that every flavor of
When starting over feels impossible Read More »
The entire year of 2024 has honestly been some bullshit. There has been just…unimaginable loss. Over and over and over. But this past month probably takes the cake. Putting my dog down after spending the last 17 years of my life with her was absolutely awful. It was heartbreaking in ways that you just can’t
The grief is loud, so I am quiet Read More »
On Monday afternoon, I said goodbye to my therapist of 10 years. That was fucking brutal. Last night, I met a new therapist for the first time and tried to see if it would be a good fit. This morning, at 9am, I have to drive Casey, my 17 year old dog, to the vet
Goodbye, hello, goodbye, hello. Read More »
Well, we’re here. The day I’ve been dreading for, really I guess about 10 years now. Later this morning, I am going to see my therapist for the last time. I reached out last week and asked if I could come in today (I was “allowed” 2 more appointments). ——— Honestly, as I started writing
Depression sucks. That’s the phrase circling my brain pretty aggressively right now. This depression is loud as fuck, and it feels pretty heavy and here to stay. The past 3 days have been filled with a lot of hurt. A lot of pushing people away. A lot of anger and fear and…depression. A lot of
When the depression gets too loud Read More »
Well, it happened. Last night was the epic and ultimate crash and burn that I usually anticipate happening after a retreat. We lovingly call them “retreat hangovers” because that’s basically what it is. Yesterday in it of itself was triggering. I finally bit the bullet and, with the help of some of my friends, emailed
Keep going, keep going, keep going. Read More »
Utah has been amazing so far. It’s been everything that I needed, and pushing myself to come here was the right choice. If you don’t know, on Thursday morning, I flew into Salt Lake City for a birth mom retreat. It’s the first one I’ve been to with this organization, and I can honestly say
