Dear son, Today, you’ll finally get the gift I sent you in the mail for Christmas. Despite my own timeliness, USPS had other prerogatives, and your “guaranteed” Christmas Eve arrival is only just getting to you today…on the 30th. I’m truly so sorry about the delay, I hoped to have it there as promised…by Christmas. […]
Well, I did it. I finished the, at this point infamous and tedious gift, of 6 painstakingly handmade crocheted gifts for my birth son, got it off in the mail, and it’s set to arrive tomorrow…just in time for Christmas. I also wanted to include a picture of us holding all the items, so we
The burden is lifted Read More »
Yesterday was much the epic crash and burn that I anticipated it would be. If you read my post from last night, yesterday just…was one of those bad day bad days. And it was absolutely exhausting both physically and mentally. It ended much in the same fashion, I crashed and burned, wanted to go to
Not at the finish line yet Read More »
Do you ever have a day so bad that you just know it isn’t going to get better? Not because you’re being negative or in a bad mindset, just because…it is what it is. But it’s bad anyway, so you figure…might as well do everything unpleasant right now and double down on it because it’s
For a Friday, this morning did not start off feeling like it had any kind of Friday vibes. Actually, this morning started out with a whole lotta bullshit. My sister, aka the actual devil, aka the one who horrifically abused me my entire life growing up, is coming to “visit” today for the next 3
I’m sitting here in Provo airport waiting to board my flight home. It’s only 12pm now, but I have about 6 hours of travel ahead of me, and a time change, so I’m not looking to be home before 7pm. I’m exhausted and emotionally depleted, but in the best way possible I think. I have
Utah has been amazing so far. It’s been everything that I needed, and pushing myself to come here was the right choice. If you don’t know, on Thursday morning, I flew into Salt Lake City for a birth mom retreat. It’s the first one I’ve been to with this organization, and I can honestly say
I’m still struggling to find my footing in this new reality I find myself in. Ya know, the one where I lost arguably my biggest and most consistent support system out of literally nowhere and completely all of a sudden. It’s been really challenging thinking about the next. The forward. I very much feel stuck
It isn’t perfect, but it’s something Read More »
I will admit, there is little in life that is less jarring than unexpectedly seeing your child plastered on social media. My birth son, my oldest of all 4 of my boys and the only one I don’t parent, is 10 years old. He was placed for adoption at birth because, well, life really sucks
A gift and a curse Read More »
Freedom is…well, it’s just that. It’s…the sense of being free. Literally defined as “the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.” I don’t feel like I’m in a state of being free. I don’t feel as if I have the right to act, speak or think as
