It didn’t happened if you drink enough to forget.
It didn’t happen if you block it from your mind.
It didn’t happen if you so convincingly tell yourself that it didn’t.
It didn’t happen if it doesn’t seem like it even possibly could have happened.
It didn’t happen if it seems like you’re making too big a deal out of it. Even then, it doesn’t matter even if it did happen. It wasn’t a big deal anyway. Get over it.
It didn’t happen because it just doesn’t fucking make sense.
How could this have happened?
How could this have happened again?
I must be wrong. I must be remembering it wrong. It couldn’t have happened. It can’t be true. It just can’t!
But if it isn’t true, why is it fucking me up so much? Why does my body remember it? It isn’t just my mind, my body is telling me, too.
It couldn’t have happened. It can’t have.
But it did. And I don’t know where the fuck to go from here.