Dear sleep…

Hey there, sleep. It’s been a while since we’ve been in sync, hasn’t it?

I’ve not seen much of you lately. We maybe spent 3 hours together last night. And not much more any other thought this past week.

But, sleep, you’re supposed to help heal me. You’re supposed to help me recover from the day and prepare to be strong for the coming days.

How could you betray me? How could you become something that I fear? We’re supposed to be on the same team here, you and I. So what gives?

Why, when I close my eyes to greet you, do you instead play these movies behind closed eyelids that I wished to never experience again?

Why do you have my attacking those unfortunate enough to sleep too close to me?

Sleep, peaceful, restful sleep that is….I miss you. I need you. I’m not a fool. I value you and I see your importance.

Just like a marriage, we are on the same team. We are fighting the same fight. I don’t want to fear you, I want to embrace you.

I don’t want to drink you into existence, I want to enjoy the thought of you. I want you to be a welcome relief, not a fear.

Sleep, you’ve messed me up. I need you, but you hurt me so much. It seems like every other relationship in my life. The only difference is…I actually do need you. I can’t exist without you. No one can. I feel as though I’m at my end.

I need you to comfort me, not control me. Sleep, peace, comfort…I need you. How can any of us function when you’re so far from our view?

I’ve been lacking you for years now. But only recently have I begun to fear you to the point of pure torture. I am tired. I’m hurting. I need rest.

Why can’t my rest ever be restful?

Leave a Reply