The struggles of an introvert

Lately I’ve had an extremely difficult time finding the time for myself to recharge. Things have been hectic and chaotic and it feels like everyone has needed more and more of me. And I just don’t have anything left to give.

As an introvert, who also happens to be a stay at home parent to 2 young kids with significant medical needs…time for myself is already nearly impossible to find.

I’m lucky enough that my husband is usually able to give me some time on the weekends by taking the kids out, or by entertaining them for a few hours. But this most recent wave of Covid has pretty much taken away the ability for him to take them anywhere.

That leaves us all pretty much stuck at home. And they just don’t leave me alone if we’re home, even if my husband is trying to keep them entertained in another room.

I pretty much require a few hours, at least once a week, of actual quiet time without being touched or talked to or needed. But that just hasn’t happened in a few weeks and I’m struggling.

I’m nowhere near the best version of myself if I can’t get the time I need to recharge. Sometimes I feel like there’s something wrong with me. Like I shouldn’t need time alone to feel okay and to function.

I know tomorrow will come, a typical Monday morning, and I’ll feel anxious and stressed because I have an entire week to go before there’s even a chance for me to get a break. Then I’ll be on edge and short with my kids because I’m not feeling strong.

I don’t know. I guess I just wish that I was stronger and more able to deal with the million pounds of burden I’m forced to carry