Ready when you are…Just not the 9th

Being over here waiting for labor to start….is just one of the most frustrating things in the world. Ugh.

Yesterday at my appointment, my doctor was pretty convinced that I was going to go into labor very soon. Then yesterday, I had a pretty significant amount of bleeding (which is okay and good when you’re waiting for labor to start) and was REALLY hoping that by the end of the day, I’d be in full blown labor.

With my last pregnancy, when I started having bleeding, my son was born 24 hours later. So I was really hoping that would be the case again, but it’s already been about that long.

I’m still having that bleeding today, and I’m definitely having contractions, but nothing regular (or painful) enough to convince me that I’m in real (active) labor yet. Last night, I was having pretty consistent contractions every 6 minutes, but they didn’t hurt, so I just waited it out.

This morning I’m still having them, and they are getting slightly more painful, but they are a bit further spaced out. It’s just a waiting game at this point…but I really hate the waiting.

This entire pregnancy, the ONLY date that we do NOT want him born on, is October 9th. That is my sisters birthday, and if you know anything about me or my past…you know that my sister is a large reason why I’m so insanely fucked up. She is the devil, I essentially hate her, and having my son share a birthday with her would basically be the worst thing in the world.

So, naturally, I’m quite sure he will be born on the 9th. Because since when have my kids (or the universe) ever listened to me or my requests?

Seriously though…the fact that I feel like labor is so close already and that we are just 2 days away from the 9th…I really am expecting that to be his birthday. It would be a disaster and a nightmare, and she would probably hate him forever for it (because that’s logical, right?) but there’s not much I can do about it.

I’m also nervous that when I do go into labor, it will be at a weird time, or a time when my doctor isn’t on call. She’s delivered and overseen all of my pregnancies (except for my first one 8 years ago) and she’s really the only one I trust with me and my specific case. That’s just another thing that’s completely out of my control.

But for now, I just wait. And that’s frustrating, but it is what it is.

I didn’t get any sleep last night because between my 3 year old and my dog, someone was waking me up every 2 hours. So I am freaking exhausted and grumpy and miserable. I just want to be done and I’m ready for this next chapter.

Please, son. We’re ready. We’re so close. Just…come now.

Any day but the 9th.

All we need is for these contractions to pick up. So let’s just hope and pray that that happens today.

Early. Like…now.