Ready to grow

Well, we made it to Monday. We got through the weekend and now we’re here.

I don’t mind Mondays so much anymore because usually my oldest son is back at school (except today he is still home), and I end my day with therapy.

I’m looking forward to therapy tonight because it’s one of those days where I feel like progress can be made. I had a really bad week with drinking, and went above what I was supposed to every day.

Yesterday, however, I did have a perfect day. So that’s something I feel kind of good about. Of course it did come after a night where I drank a lotttt. And I always have a good day after a bad day. So it’s not surprising at all that yesterday I stuck to my goal.

If you’re wondering, right now the current goal for my drinking (as decided in therapy) is to have 1 drink during the day (to manage withdrawal symptoms) and no more than 7.5 ounces of my preferred drink, which is 47% alcohol. So, yeah, it is kind of a lot, but it definitely could be worse. And I’m sure it has been worse.

On my worst night this week, I had 9.25ounces within 3 hours. So that clearly wasn’t great.

So, yeah. Definitely not the best week.

But I have therapy tonight, and I feel like I’m in a place where we can do good work and make progress.

We’re doing a lot of work with attachment issues and mindfulness. And all of that will eventually lead to doing EMDR…hopefully. We’ve tried in the past multiple times but I guess I wasn’t exactly ready for it.

Today is a busy today before that though. My son has a parent teacher conference at school this morning, then he has therapy, and then physical therapy, and then finally I have therapy after I get all the kids to bed (hopefully).

I’m pretty confident I’ll easily be able to stick to my goals today. The hard part of the month is over, and the next hard thing coming up isn’t until next month. So that leaves some good time to work on things.

It’s a new day, it’s a new week, and we can do hard things.

We got this.

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