Frustration. It boils over eventually.

After weeks of being subtle (and not so subtle) of voicing my needs for some ALONE time, I’m getting kind of sick of not getting it.

My husband is really good about taking my older 2 kids out on the weekends for a few hours. Which is great. Or at least, it used to be. But now, that leaves me with a very cute, but sort of heavy 6 month old. And now him taking out the other boys just guarantees that I’ll be alone with the baby all day.

Which is fine. He doesn’t bother me. But my arms PHYSICALLY need a break. Yes, I enjoy a quiet house. And 2/3 kids being gone is certainly good for that.

But I need to have some time for my body to not be needed and for my brain to be completely off. To be able to do things like, I don’t know. Shower? Eat? Fold laundry? Be still and just be off?

We keep making a “plan” for him to take the baby out for a few hours, but it just hasn’t happened. Either his nap schedule is weird that day, or there was a “miscommunication”, or he’s on his way to pick him up, but crashes my car instead 😡. (See last Sunday/Mondays post for that lovely story.)

Anyway. Today, I’m not being subtle or coy or thinking about his needs before my own. Yeah, being with all 3 kids sucks. It’s a lot of work. But I do it all the freaking time. So he can too for a few hours. He’s a great dad. And he wants to make me happy and give me what I need. He has tried. It just hasn’t worked out.

I’m not upset or angry with him, I’m just frustrated in general. Life is really hard right now.

And on top of that, our freaking air conditioner decided to break last night, and it’s a good 90° here. I am not a girl who enjoys the heat. My physical issues flare up big time, I get twice as inflamed, everything hurts more, my hands don’t work, and I pass out. So, I’m not the happiest of people today in this hot house. I did manage to change the baby’s clothes in the middle of the night last night without him getting too angry, so I felt a lot better about that. I was worried about him overheating.

I don’t know what the plan is for today. But we have no AC, and that doesn’t seem like a good place for children to be, does it? 🙃

The baby is due to nap in an hour. For once, I’m hoping it’s a short nap, because I am planning on kicking these boys the heck out of here, and getting some time to myself.

I’m feeling frustrated. I need time to take care of myself, or clean, or do laundry, or shower, or eat. And I just can’t do those things when I’m holding a very cute baby all day.

Anyway, here’s a cute video (do videos work on here? I’ve never tried it) of Phoenix, my 4 year old, who built a Christmas tree yesterday. Because even though he’s a pain in the butt, he’s still super cute.

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